Cannabis helps. It’s funny because in all the discussion of medical cannabis people seem to focus on physical maladies, and few folks ever champion the medicinal value in a psychological sense. Personally, I feel that cannabis is the best medicine for treating the ills that come with growing up in these times. We are inundated with stimulus, society pressures us to be people who we’re not, and we face harsh adversity masked as equal opportunity. To me, the human condition that is endemic to the United States of America in 2012 requires healing. Only a fool would contest the notion that all citizens of the United States of America suffer from some degree of psychosis. Some of us suffer more than others.

Personally, I have a lot of issues. I’ve seen and experienced a lot of things in life that have eaten away at my sense of safety. I never really felt safe in life, which is mostly just a product of my upbringing. When I was around 1.5 years old a very disturbed man came to my house, and held me and my mother hostage. It was as a result of my father’s line of work: he’s a criminal defense attorney. While I don’t explicitly recall it happening, I have recalled enough ensuing events of a similar nature to grow into a person who is very cautious of the world around him. I also got picked on a lot when I was younger. What can I say, I was always a stand-out weirdo, and thus an easy target. Because of that I have little to no tolerance for any behavior that I view as threatening, or demeaning. If I feel like someone is making fun of me, or acting disrespectfully I immediately go on the offensive.

In spite of the stuff that has fucked me up, I think I’m a pretty level-headed and rational person when I’m not in a space that triggers those psychotic mindstates. But, the moment someone starts walking close behind me I prepare for a fight, regardless of who it is, where I am, or when it is. I can’t control the ways that my mind has been formed. But over the course of many years of self-reflection, and contemplation I have found ways to temper my irrational mind. Cannabis has been integral in this. To me, cannabis is a necessary part of the process of self-maintenance, and personal growth. I view the impediment of my mental well-being as a direct result of our contemporary society. Thus cannabis relieves the ailments that our society creates.

This morning I got into a very heated argument. Mind you it was totally unfounded, and it began when my roommates friend started yelling at me for no reason. Being that I was in my own home, and he was a guest, there was zero restraint on my part when I reacted. I immediately started yelling at the top of my lungs that I wouldn’t be disrespected like that in my own home, and I told him if he didn’t promptly remove himself from my home, he would be thoroughly beaten. It’s been quite some time since I’ve had such an intense incident with my temper. I was ready to fight someone, and then the police showed up. (Unfortunately my downstairs neighbor is a very bitter, and anti-male dyke. Thus she was happy to have the opportunity to call the police. I later confronted her and found out that she lied to the police, claiming that there was fighting, and threats of “I’m going to kill you”). Of course, the police were not looking to diffuse the situation, and when I refused to allow them into my home they got physical and threatened me. One of them even brandished a club. And mind you, I am well-aware of how the police operate, so I was perfectly calm in my interactions with them. They were simply looking for a fight, and they spent a great deal of effort antagonizing, manhandling, and accosting me in hopes that I’d snap. But I didn’t.

So, I was pissed off and ready to fight someone before the police came, and then after the police came I was ready to destroy a building and then fight someone on top of it. In spite of the fact that I really wanted to calm down, there was nothing I could do. My body is filled with chemicals I cannot control, my tribe is made of a history I did not write, my mind is filled with thoughts I did not think, my life is filled with experiences I cannot control, and all of this (and more) adds up to produce a psychosis which I am subject to, but which I truly cannot control. I can only temper my psychosis, I can only work to identify the triggers, and avoid them. But, in the situation this morning there was nothing to avoid. Someone else came into my home and got in my face. If I had been out somewhere I would have simply left. Someone else exaggerated the situation and lied to the police in hopes of bringing ill fate on me. And then a group of other folks came to my home threatened me, got violent with mem and then patronized me before they left. All I did was wake up and walk into my kitchen, and then a whole lot of bullshit came looking for me, and this is really the perfect metaphor for what we all experience living in this nation. We don’t create these situations, but we are subjected to them, and we must find ways to cope. I knew I needed to calm down, and I wanted to calm down, but the psychosis tied to my safety, and my dignity would not allow that. But with just one puff of peace this morning I went from mad Zach, to stable Zach.

We don’t get to pick who we are. We are a product of history and our environments. We can certainly exercise influence over ourselves, but we cannot control the entirety of our lives. Thus, for those of us who suffer from a psychosis that is strong enough to overpower the rational mind and push us to potentially regrettable actions there is constant work to be done. If I hadn’t found ways to control my psychosis I do not doubt that I would have killed myself or someone else by now. I’m not exaggerating because I’ve come close enough to both to know how easily it can happen. So, next time you consider the medicinal value of cannabis, perhaps you should also consider that although psychosis is now commonplace in our nation, it is also a sickness that can be treated with cannabis.